| sabotages_activity.pdf |
Sabotage is a common, almost natural response to change. We all have our own sabotage scripts that get triggered when we start to move towards something good for us, or out of our comfort zone. It is the mind’s way of resisting change and keeping us in the known, comfort zone. Sabotage is easiest to see when things are moving forward, and is a self-protection mechanism designed to keep you safe because somewhere in your past you have made an association ‘that this = that and from here on, I (the subconscious) must ensure it doesn’t happen again’.
For instance, you might be choosing healthier foods when suddenly a locked-in belief or feeling about a similar event (previous attempt, or the hidden belief that you don’t deserve to be lighter and beautiful) is woken up during the change. WHAM! It stops you in your tracks, does the opposite to what you have chosen to do, and makes you feel not so good about yourself. Sabotage has the potential to stop or slow down your progress.
Sabotage is a very common and powerful tool the subconscious mind uses to protect us from the unknown, or to make sure we are not putting ourselves in harm's way. If we don't explore our sabotages, we are likely to get so far, and our efforts are derailed. We start to procrastinate, find reasons why we shouldn't, get distracted with shiney new ideas or objects, keep searching for the magic bullet to make the changes easier and faster. Unfortunately, sabotages are also very good at hiding, just like in real life those who sabotage others progress do so undercover or in the depths of the night so they are not found out. After all, it is illegal to cause harm to others, or their property.
Sabotages are part of our belief systems that play out and control our thoughts and actions. We may find we think we are just not good enough and so start to make choices that reinforce this belief. Recently, I experienced this first hand. I started a new job waitressing, but do you think I could get the most simplest of tasks right? No, each night a different step in the process would be the 'theme' of the night's errors, it was only when I sat with what was happening that I could see I was looking after me, and so needed to create fault and create criticism from myself and my employer and colleagues. My type A, hypercritical, high performer, can't do anything wrong or else!! belief kicked in. Fortunately for me, everyone has been very supportive and the errors are getting less, I am relaxing into the role and loving it. I didn't want the sabotage to win, so I looked at in the eye and had a good old chat with it, the beliefs behind it and basically said I was more than capable of doing the job, and I asked my subconscious to help me and not fight me.
The way to work with sabotages is to explore its rationale for being there. Literally, call in the various emotions and voices from your present and past and chat with them. You can do campfire work or similar if you need to, but intense discussions are not always needed.
Meditate if the are more elusive, and scan your body or ask what is the biggest fear or memory present at the moment. What is the thought, feeling, sensation, change in the body, or relationship. Explore the key issue or feeling that are rising up, allow these feelings, and aha moments etc give you insight into what is really going on. Ask quality questions and organise some process work to help unlock the core and release the block so you can continue to move forward, just like taking away a bottom card of pyramid causes the entire concept to fall. Childhood memories, school situations, previous relationships, messages of being unloved, unworthy, inadequate, etc., will, if not looked at with a loving hand, negate any progress being made. Change is an ongoing journey.
Deeper, more hidden sabotages can be quite elusive, so a bit of investigative work might be needed or help of a therapist. Watch for patterns, word you are thinking, saying or joking about. What is your body doing, how is it responding? How are relationships or conversations with others going? What are you focusing on? As in many instances, the issue is not what is playing out on the surface, but what it deeper, and playing out.
They too are like an onion or an ongoing spiral. As you clear or move through a layer, and calibrate, another sabotage, emotional healing may need to be addressed. This is what it is about, letting go and healing the various layers and associated issues that have been generated over time in your and your generational line.
The issue playing out may not even be yours either. It could be your parents, your Grandparents or someone in your family tree that you have inherited through the genetic material.
The value of exploring your sabotages is you are then forewarned and can put strategies in place before you commence change, recognise the patterns when they show up and be gentle with yourself and your mind. After all, awareness is the first step and the more aware of your patterns, beliefs and attitudes the healthier we become, and faster.
For instance, you might be choosing healthier foods when suddenly a locked-in belief or feeling about a similar event (previous attempt, or the hidden belief that you don’t deserve to be lighter and beautiful) is woken up during the change. WHAM! It stops you in your tracks, does the opposite to what you have chosen to do, and makes you feel not so good about yourself. Sabotage has the potential to stop or slow down your progress.
Sabotage is a very common and powerful tool the subconscious mind uses to protect us from the unknown, or to make sure we are not putting ourselves in harm's way. If we don't explore our sabotages, we are likely to get so far, and our efforts are derailed. We start to procrastinate, find reasons why we shouldn't, get distracted with shiney new ideas or objects, keep searching for the magic bullet to make the changes easier and faster. Unfortunately, sabotages are also very good at hiding, just like in real life those who sabotage others progress do so undercover or in the depths of the night so they are not found out. After all, it is illegal to cause harm to others, or their property.
Sabotages are part of our belief systems that play out and control our thoughts and actions. We may find we think we are just not good enough and so start to make choices that reinforce this belief. Recently, I experienced this first hand. I started a new job waitressing, but do you think I could get the most simplest of tasks right? No, each night a different step in the process would be the 'theme' of the night's errors, it was only when I sat with what was happening that I could see I was looking after me, and so needed to create fault and create criticism from myself and my employer and colleagues. My type A, hypercritical, high performer, can't do anything wrong or else!! belief kicked in. Fortunately for me, everyone has been very supportive and the errors are getting less, I am relaxing into the role and loving it. I didn't want the sabotage to win, so I looked at in the eye and had a good old chat with it, the beliefs behind it and basically said I was more than capable of doing the job, and I asked my subconscious to help me and not fight me.
The way to work with sabotages is to explore its rationale for being there. Literally, call in the various emotions and voices from your present and past and chat with them. You can do campfire work or similar if you need to, but intense discussions are not always needed.
Meditate if the are more elusive, and scan your body or ask what is the biggest fear or memory present at the moment. What is the thought, feeling, sensation, change in the body, or relationship. Explore the key issue or feeling that are rising up, allow these feelings, and aha moments etc give you insight into what is really going on. Ask quality questions and organise some process work to help unlock the core and release the block so you can continue to move forward, just like taking away a bottom card of pyramid causes the entire concept to fall. Childhood memories, school situations, previous relationships, messages of being unloved, unworthy, inadequate, etc., will, if not looked at with a loving hand, negate any progress being made. Change is an ongoing journey.
Deeper, more hidden sabotages can be quite elusive, so a bit of investigative work might be needed or help of a therapist. Watch for patterns, word you are thinking, saying or joking about. What is your body doing, how is it responding? How are relationships or conversations with others going? What are you focusing on? As in many instances, the issue is not what is playing out on the surface, but what it deeper, and playing out.
They too are like an onion or an ongoing spiral. As you clear or move through a layer, and calibrate, another sabotage, emotional healing may need to be addressed. This is what it is about, letting go and healing the various layers and associated issues that have been generated over time in your and your generational line.
The issue playing out may not even be yours either. It could be your parents, your Grandparents or someone in your family tree that you have inherited through the genetic material.
The value of exploring your sabotages is you are then forewarned and can put strategies in place before you commence change, recognise the patterns when they show up and be gentle with yourself and your mind. After all, awareness is the first step and the more aware of your patterns, beliefs and attitudes the healthier we become, and faster.
n
"It is dangerous to believe that everything that shows up in your life is the path to what you want. Some things show up to help you get clearer in vision. Other things show up to help you clarify or heal your intent.
Then there are those frequent occasions when things on their way to some place else show up, and you mistakenly believe they are yours. Your expectations weren't clear, so you begin to adjust the picture"
"It is dangerous to believe that everything that shows up in your life is the path to what you want. Some things show up to help you get clearer in vision. Other things show up to help you clarify or heal your intent.
Then there are those frequent occasions when things on their way to some place else show up, and you mistakenly believe they are yours. Your expectations weren't clear, so you begin to adjust the picture"
Iyanla Vanzant - In the Meantime
Steps to sabotage awareness and healing:
The more beliefs or issues looked at, the more aware you become that your feelings are creating your circumstances. You gain greater power to create change. You reclaim your ability to recreate the your truth as described by the values, beliefs, and desires you would like your life to be.
Possible questions to ask during the mediation to help gain clarity
- Monitor your progress towards your desired outcome. Become aware of things that come up as you move towards the goal. Consider your feelings, situations, patterns, words being spoken, incongruence between what you have set out to do, and what you are doing.
- What is the feeling, the emotion, memory, words spoken and by whom? What is the belief or value, or possibly a vow that was stated at the time of a crossroad in your path.
- When things become harder, or you are tempted to do something different from the ‘plan’, work through them. In meditation, ask direct questions of what is going on. Call in the situation to the round table discussion and have a frank conversation with it.
- Ask the what, when, how and why questions to gain as much clarity about how the sabotage was created, and what it is attempting to protect us against. This is where the magic happens, the wisdom from the past meets the wisdom of the now. The child gets to be guided by the gentle, loving adult. It is your chance to take the child to you and explain your grand plan and that thanks to them, the adult you has developed their skills and knowledge to move forward, and invite the child (saboteur) to be part of the plan so that each time they feel uneasy, it is their job to gently remind the adult and together a plan to move forward can be created.
- Engaging in therapy, process work or other deep healing work is very supportive and speeds healing the saboteur. Tapping and forgiveness exercise are powerful in helping to reframe the energetics of the memories.
The more beliefs or issues looked at, the more aware you become that your feelings are creating your circumstances. You gain greater power to create change. You reclaim your ability to recreate the your truth as described by the values, beliefs, and desires you would like your life to be.
Possible questions to ask during the mediation to help gain clarity
- What is happening in the now, is there a recognisable pattern with similar situations?
- What are the feelings coming up? (list them or do a brain dump)
- What memory/s are linked to this experiences?
- Who else is there, in the memory?
- What are the message/s you heard about what is going on in the now? Often there are protection, warning, 'you can't or not possible statements said or implied which we then carry forward
- What supporting evidence is there what is going on in the now?
- Is it real, or imaginative evidence, is it your or someone else's evidence, opinion, hearsay, fear etc?
- What do I need to know, feel, or do to change what is coming up?
- What needs to stay for now, and what can you let go of now to allow more of your change occur, or to allow more of your deeper self to be revealed?
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