Trauma - when we give life situation a powerful meaning!

Trauma, by definition is a "deeply distressing or disturbing experience" or "physical injury".  Tell me how many people haven't experienced traumatic experiences of different severity?   The next question to ask, who gets to define if your interpretation of a situation makes it traumatic, or not?  The only person qualified is yourself as you are the one that lived it, and you are the one that gave the situation weight.   

Think about this.....  two children (from the same parents) are playing in the yard, one tends to have the dare-devil streak and the other seemed to be born more reserved and cautious.  Are either children wrong or inferior because of their make up?  NO!  Lets take it another step. 

At one time a playful dog came into the yard and approached from behind the reserved child and started barking with excitement.  Now, this is where it gets interesting.  The dare devil child was more than happy to play with the dog and tumble with it.   This little was was more adventurous to begin with and also saw the dog coming.   The reserved child however received a shock when the dog barked and bounced on him, because he didn't see or hear it coming.   Two different interpretations from seemingly similar situations.  Yes, one child saw the dog coming, and the other didn't. Consider though what the children FELT and interpreted from the experience.  The more reserved child from that time was always on edge and anxious around dogs, more so when they barked, and other child just loved dogs all the more and couldn't see the problem of his friend.   Though he wanted to encourage his friend to be ok  with dogs, he would also tease his friend when he pulled away from dogs. 

So, what has happened?
There are two parts playing out.  First is the person's nature  they are born with, the second is the meaning the children associated with the situation.  The reserved child was shocked and with the release of adrenaline flooding his body the cells were primed for the fear, flight and fight response.
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Now it gets interesting.  The emotional response and interpretation could be a number of things.  

• He could possibly look at his friend and see the dog was only happy and wanting to play and response relax and start to play too.  His mind and body relaxes and is flooded with happy, love endorphins as he plays and is happy with the dog.  

 

• He might look at his friends playfulness and feel silly for being scared by the dog who only wants to play, the adrenaline will still be in his system, but the chemicals for 'silly' are also produced and the neurotransmitters responsible for this tag onto the cell and change cell function.  A memory is started. 

 

• He might look at the situation and make the link of  "dogs are scary" (adrenaline is the scare hormone) and from there on make the link in his body physiology and mind that dogs are scary and need to be wary of them.  Every time a dog or adrenaline is secreted, another layer of association is made.  Think of an onion and its various layers. ​

There is no right or wrong, but what is.  What actually happened and the association the children made in the split seconds is now imprinted into the sub-conscious mind and in the cells sensitivity to the adrenaline hormone.  The more times similar situations, or the adrenaline is secreted, we start to create self fulling prophecies.   In this case, the is greater risk of the reserved child being scared of dogs, even playful ones who really mean no harm.  

If you can think of life events as dust or splinters. Some with settle and just much you up for a bit, others are like splinters where they get into your psyche and can with a bit of help be removed easy enough. Some splinters though are big, and go deep which are not so easily removed.  If they aren't taken care of in the moment, they can fester and the body can heal over the opening, but still have the splinter inside, which for years can cause biochemical havoc on the body. 

"People are disturbed not by things, but by the views we take of them.” 
Epictetus, Greek Philosopher   

Life is a series of events and incidents across the emotional spectrum.  Life happens, things are as they are, and we can only control our response and reaction to it.  That is our charge, not others and not things.  How we respond though is the sum of our interpretations and the beliefs we have created/taken on through life.  

Beliefs is the more 'solid' point of view that often seems to be cause effect thinking.  This happened, so it means this.  They said this and that is what it means. These are our own singular point of view, based on what we have felt, heard, interpreted or told to believe from others.  

Significant influences while growing up start with our parents or guardians, family members and those who look after us the most.   As we get older Teachers, school, friends, clubs and associations, books, games, media, work culture etc.  Influence comes from everywhere and everyone, it is how we relate and respond to the messages they give that we can be shaped. 

The potential is huge then to make or break a person.

As you can imagine, if a person tends to grow up in a negative environment, with little encouragement of others giving them a balanced point of view it is easy for a young child to take on the idea they are unimportant, unloved, not important or possibly part of life's big problem. 

On the other hand, a child who feels loved, is encouraged and supported, and yes still at times gets into trouble etc, but is gently explained what and why, and from a space of love, a very different view can be created by this child.  

There is several forms of state change we as adults can engage in ranging from talking things through, mindfulness, forgiveness, affirmations, meditations, journaling, and it is encouraged that we find the change method that works best for ourselves.  These can be seen as cleaning the dust and playing with the easy to get to splinters. The ones that keep coming up to be removed or at least letting you know they are still there.  

The real work and transformation is when the deep splinters are taken out, the wound cleaned out and filled with good stuff to allow the entire body chemistry to balance and heal. This is transformation work and it is powerful!!
What methods can be employed for deep transformation?  Energy healing as an umbrella label.  This includes Reiki, Kinesiology, Guided Mediation, BARS, Deep Prayer, Camp Fire Forgiveness to name a few. It invites God, Universal Love, divinity, spirit, or whichever larger than life force you relate with to come in and remove and cleanup the parts of our memory that are causing disruption.  

 Whatever the therapy you choose, and it can change for different parts of your life, or different 'things' coming up. It goes into the place of the hidden splinter, the core of the issue, to go into the memory and change its meaning, create forgiveness for yourself and to install healthier meanings, beliefs and lessons.  It doesn't change what happened, but it does transform the pain and removes it from the body memory enabling true body, mind and spirit healing.  

It is goes to the source, it is powerful, it works. 

Life goes on, it happens, and as we let go of the disruptive associations, our life becomes more peaceful, lived, loved and fulfilled, it is easier to write a happy ending.  Letting go and transformation is liberating.  Possibly something that needs to be experienced first hand to believe.

Ready to Reclaim Your Life?  Book a GoodFit Chat to discuss options to Shift from challenging situations to Reclaiming Your Own Life on Your Terms!