Come join me on the couch and
explore ways of thinking and feeling.
explore ways of thinking and feeling.
The power of thoughts, more so when they are voiced. Considering words are created from thought which comes from a belief, or what is being read, recited or impersonating.
It is possible to change a belief by hearing or running the same program often enough. 'Normality' is created when we hear, see or do things often enough and creating an ingrained neural path. This is great, and just what we want when we choose to create healthy thought patterns, but the same happens with the negative.
This is how complacency can occur because we become conditioned or neutral to the situation. Not always healthy, and the body feels it by out of balance or out of sync or the latest buzz word - our of alignment with our true selves. Mis-alignment triggers body stress, turning to symptoms and if ignored long enough disease.
Fortunately, we can disrupt the process and come back into alignment with conscious effort, or faster using energetic circuit changes such as Kinesiology, Rieki, Bars, EFT, NLP and of course, Hypnotherapy.
Affirmations is a support process which helps to reinforce the changes created during the energy changes. They are constant reminders. Affirmations can be used alone, but change is created faster when combined with Belief change, Anchors and Visualisation.
In a nutshell, more we say something, the sooner the sub-conscious brain will internalise it, say it with passion, and images it is faster still. Adding affirmations to a clean slate after the belief and memory has been transformed, faster again. Convinced yet that a combined, thorough approach is powerful?
The Queen of Affirmations would have to be Louise Hay, who created a comprehensive list of affirmations for almost all aliments, and guided further research into the associations between our self perception, self beliefs and conditions. Her book You Can Heal your Life was written more than several decades ago and is still used as a primary text for health change.
Ready to read more, and make a few of your own affirmations? Download the affirmation worksheet.
Ths is just one of the topics taught in the ReclaimME! program.
Belief, by definition from my old school dictionary (circa 1981) is:
- The feeling or confidence that something is real, true or worthwhile or
- something which is taught or accepted as true.
Based on this definition it is easy to see how influencing beliefs are and how challenging they can be to move if needed. in summary, beliefs are the meanings we give to situations or people and are our expectations of how things should be.
Beliefs can be created at any stage of our life, but it is generally accepted our core beliefs are created by the age of 7. Which means parents, significant adults, siblings, early school, school in general, sporting clubs/activities, friends and peers.
We can become aware of our beliefs with curiosity and mindfulness. When things are not going the way we expect, or we experience big emotions either positive or negative, we can see our beliefs playing out.
When we feel the negative, generally our expectations, hopes, wishes are being violated or not being met. Think of the times when people have let down, disappointed or things haven't worked out and recall the thoughts and the emotions that have come up with this.
Now, think of when things have worked well and all is in good order, are you happier, more joyful because they are meeting your expectation and things are as they should be?
"Expectation is the mother of all frustration. " Antonio Blanca Banderas
High expectations of self can also be a double edge sword, but can certainly give us incentives to move towards goals, the challenge is to keep the expectations slightly out of comfortable reach to help us stretch.
Expectations of others are best to be monitored to encourage them to be the best people they can be, and be honest if you are ok with them who they are. After all, we can only control our own response and reactions.
Limiting beliefs are those that hold us back, and limit our progress generally due to fear, thinking we are not good enough, deserving or lovable, but at the core of this is the belief on not being good enough. This is where it gets tough, because we all want to be loved and be accepted, and have pleasure in life.
Trauma, by definition is a "deeply distressing or disturbing experience" or "physical injury". Tell me how many people haven't experienced traumatic experiences of different severity? The next question to ask, who gets to define if your interpretation of a situation makes it traumatic, or not? The only person qualified is yourself as you are the one that lived it, and you are the one that gave the situation weight.
Think about this..... two children (from the same parents) are playing in the yard, one tends to have the dare-devil streak and the other seemed to be born more reserved and cautious. Are either children wrong or inferior because of their make up? NO! Lets take it another step.
At one time a playful dog came into the yard and approached from behind the reserved child and started barking with excitement. Now, this is where it gets interesting. The dare devil child was more than happy to play with the dog and tumble with it. This little was was more adventurous to begin with and also saw the dog coming. The reserved child however received a shock when the dog barked and bounced on him, because he didn't see or hear it coming. Two different interpretations from seemingly similar situations. Yes, one child saw the dog coming, and the other didn't. Consider though what the children FELT and interpreted from the experience. The more reserved child from that time was always on edge and anxious around dogs, more so when they barked, and other child just loved dogs all the more and couldn't see the problem of his friend. Though he wanted to encourage his friend to be ok with dogs, he would also tease his friend when he pulled away from dogs.
So, what has happened?
There are two parts playing out. First is the person's nature they are born with, the second is the meaning the children associated with the situation. The reserved child was shocked and with the release of adrenaline flooding his body the cells were primed for the fear, flight and fight response.
Ready to Reclaim Your Life? Book a GoodFit Chat to discuss options to Shift from challenging situations to Reclaiming Your Own Life on Your Terms!
I love how parables gives unending wisdom that is still relevant in today's time.
Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years.
One day his horse ran away.
Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.
"Such bad luck," they said sympathetically, "you must be so sad."
"We’ll see," the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it two other wild horses.
"How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed!
"Not only did your horse return, but you received two more.
What great fortune you have!"
"We’ll see," answered the farmer.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown off, and broke his leg.
The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Now your son cannot help you with your farming," they said. "What terrible luck you have!"
"We’ll see," replied the old farmer.
The following week, military officials came to the village to conscript young men into the army.
Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Such great news. You must be so happy!"
The man smiled to himself and said once again.
One of the lessons in this parable is: Anything that happens in life is neither GOOD or BAD, because you never know the consequences of misfortune OR good fortune until enough time has passed.
Another is the that God, Universe, spirit has your back and the more we trust without reacting from the space of our own expectations of how things 'should' be, life is easier! When we move through life with the intent to be the best we can be with what we have, and practice mindful interaction and not reactive interaction life is so much easier.
When we create ease and Grace, allowance and Gratitude we send a message out to the world that we are productive, easy to work with and an enabler of life. On the Law of Attraction principles it is easier for us to receive more of the same.
We have all been there, so many things going on, people expecting of you, the bigger expectation that we place on ourselves. I ask, from where did these expectations start? I can only speak for myself, but I know many people have said similar things.
Our reality, if we believe in the law of attraction theory is a reflection of what and how we see life. We are looking through our filters that we have created over our journey to date. When we start to make changes, doing things differently, putting on different hats and responses, the deeper parts of ourselves that are not in alignment with the new us can create friction stress, pain and a range of other symptoms. It is at these times taking time out to reflect, being gentle and allowing the thoughts, memories and discomforts come to the surface to be transformed and allowed to be let go of.
When this happens flow comes back oh, so much easier, life feels and becomes more productive again, we become happier and at peace again. Our body supports our dreams again, and shows to us that we are on track again.
Sabotage is a common, almost natural response to change. We all have our own sabotage scripts that get triggered when we start to move towards something good for us, or out of our comfort zone. It is the mind’s way of resisting change and keeping us in the known, comfort zone. Sabotage is easiest to see when things are moving forward and is a self-protection mechanism designed to keep you safe because somewhere in our past you have made an association ‘that this = that and from here on, I (the subconscious) must ensure it doesn’t happen again’.
If we dissect the mechanism, it can be seen as the younger you acting out, overriding the adult you in the name of protecting the infant you. For instance, the adult you might be choosing healthier foods when suddenly a locked-in belief or feeling about a what it is like to be healthier, younger, or happier and a negative consequence that created. You might have been picked on, teased, or even leered at in the past for looking and feeling good. The similar event – looking and feeling good has activated the fear side and the sabotage will do what it can to protect you from re-enacting the previous teasing, being picked on or being in danger. Or maybe you took on the belief that you don’t deserve to be lighter and beautiful and this is woken up during the change. WHAM! The sabotage will do all it can to stop you in our tracks, does the opposite to what you have chosen to do, and makes you feel not so good about our self. Sabotage has the potential to stop or slow down our progress.
Sabotage is a very common and powerful tool the subconscious mind uses to protect us from the unknown, or to make sure we are not putting ourselves in harm's way. If we don't explore our sabotages, we are likely to get so far, and our efforts are derailed. We start to procrastinate, find reasons why we shouldn't, get distracted with shiny new ideas or objects, keep searching for the magic bullet to make the changes easier and faster. Unfortunately, sabotages are also very good at hiding, just like in real life those who sabotage others progress do so undercover or in the depths of the night so they are not found out. After all, it is illegal to cause harm to others, or their property. You have an Inner Child that represents our emotions and primal needs.
You have an Adult self that needs to get stronger so it can nurture our Inner Child and learn from our sabotager so you can reach our potential for greater life and love. There is huge blessings to be found when we choose to learn from our sabotages and not ignore or fight them, they really are like the safety circuit breaker in the electrical meter box. When it trips, it is saying there is a problem in the electrical systems, get it checked and fixed before you potentially have an electrical house fire to contend with. The same in our life. If we ignore the early warning signs, this circuit breaker kicks in and stops us from progressing towards that which we really want to achieve.
Download the worksheet
The season has changed, summer is coming and the print of the book 'What the mind sees, the body creates, feels and attracts' getting closer there is excitement in the air. The theme of the book is how we create biochemical change from our subconscious, the foods we eat, microbiome and our actions. Since the subconscious doesn't know the difference between what is 'real' or not and it responds to the emotional imprints created over time, the greater energy or emotional imprint, the stronger the belief we hold about ourselves, and how our life 'should' be.
The subconscious works with images and emotions. Like the squeaky wheel, or how deep ruts are created when the same track is walked on, the more frequently heard and felt messages become more ingrained they become. Emotions are anchors to the body which means the more emotion we feel around a statement, the body will work hard at recreating this feeling becuase it thinks that is what we want more of. We must want to stay there as we have anchored the feeling in our body. This process works for the positive and negative emotions, and so it is our duty to be clear as to what we do, and choose to have in our body and life. If we want more good in our life, put lots of positive feelings with affirming statements, the body will work to recreating that feeling and therefore change of physiological state. (the opposite is equally true. More we say we don't want, or we don't like etc, and we have an emotion with it, the body will work towards re-creating just what you don't want.)
For many people I know it has been a massive 6 months in so many good ways. The challenges are asking us to look at our values and beliefs and who/what we really want to be known for. The world events, in the social, economic and natural disasters are asking us as individuals and collectively to get real. Get clear and stand up as to what we as individuals and in our society we want to stand for. What is important to us and where we want to be in the future.
The bottom line is if we don't check in with who we truly want to be and act from this place, we will be drifting down a path to a place we may not want to be in a few years time. Do you want to be the frog in hot water, slowly adapting to hot water, or do you want to the be one in charge of the amount of heat in your own bath water? This applies to all aspects of life... health, lifestyle, relationships, career etc. The same principles apply as you are working on your own core self and the ripple effect spreads through your life.
Coming home after my mid life, European adventure I had to claim my place in my reality. Sure, I had read, attended coursed and explored thoughts and ways of reality hacking. I have create all the good, and ugly and inbetweens to date, but I also knew that if i didn't take more control over my thoughts, desires and actions from the past and come to peace with them I was going to keep living a limited, scary life. So, what can be done, without leaving the country to contemplate your hidden parts that want to come forth?
Take on the mode of a research scientist - 'let's investigate a thought and prove it either way.'
We all have ideas, beliefs and values; at some time in our life it is invaluable to consider whose they really belong to. If we blindly stay on auto-pilot, it is quite possible we are going to live someone else's destiny and following the wrong flight plan.
How does this happen? It is quite simple really. We inherit our genes from parents. Nothing new here. What is a newer consideration is our Grandmother makes the female portion of us. How? Our mother's eggs are made by her mother, our Grandmothers. Sit with this thought for a bit. What was our Grandparents' life really like? What were the ideologies, beliefs and values of the time; access to resource, wisdoms experiences etc.? Consider where and how these embedded beliefs are playing out in your thoughts now. This is a real example of Auto-pilot. How about your parents? Not only what happened in their home and social experiences, but what were their actual interpretations of life around your conception, and through your childhood.
Anyone can embed ideas into our thinking, if we allow it. Impressions from parents, school, peers, work, colleagues, society, culture etc., all have the power to change our deepest held values, especially in hurtful, stressful situations.
Consider too, from a sociological view, each generation has a theme, baby boomers, free love, techno etc. The era in which we were exposed to also creates a view of what life could, should, might be like. Naturally, there is an opposite side to all of these things.
Self care, for me, personally goes way beyond looking after body or treating myself. These actions really do feel good and are important, but the deeper level of self care for me is about knowing myself and clearly stating who I are and what I believe. The more attention I have given to sifting through my own beliefs, ideologies etc the easier it has been to like and love myself, and therefore less need from others affection or attention to make myself feel good.
There was a time in my life when I figured I either had to get real or get out. Show up or go home, whatever catchphrase you want to use. I had, unknowingly taken on a lot of negative, self abating thoughts from quite a few people. The result was I didn't like, let alone love myself, and I really didn't like who I was. I didn't know how to let people in, and really felt that unimportant.
Fortunately, psychology is starting to talk about the idea that "Until we know ourselves and accept ourselves, know what works for us in a good way we are inclined to go with the flow, allow others do things that we would rather not do, and tend to seek the fillers to the gaps we have in ourselves." When we know what our own gaps are, and learn to fill them ourselves, we become more empowered. It is easier to say no and mean it, set healthy boundaries and not feel the need to engage in questionable or dangerous behaviour to fit in. We basically look after ourselves and engage with others in healthier, truer ways. Am I there yet? No but I am certainly further down the line that I was.
How is it possible to create this clarity? Start studying the greats, look at all things you think, feel, do and experience in life as a third party observer and start playing with investigative questions.
What a week, it has been jammed packed finalising study, working and finishing a stage that was almost overdue; then bang, the weekend. I didn't have a deadline, or anything that I had to do. I had freedom of choice again, and that got me adrift! What did I end up doing? Going into the office to make sure the project didn't run over time, and came home to clean house, cook a fabulous dinner for 1 and watch two thought provoking movies.
While it was good to have choice, it also felt weird after a few weeks of 'must get this done' urgency and lots of weekend study and late nights. To do added value to life, and self care was a weird feeling. Then, to wake up on Sunday knowing it was Mother's Day and all that it inherently brings up for me. So, Sunday was mixed up, and charged. What WAS I GOING TO DO WITH MYSELF??? As it was I stayed in my PJs till about 1.30, showered and went to the library. With a good dose of pondering questions, a dose of self pity and big dose of wanting to breakthrough the frump that I had found myself in.
Was this a sabotage, or an opportunity. Well, that is the first question isn't it? It depends how we choose to interpret things. For me, the frump was the perfect thing to feel so I could explore the ideas of what I felt I was missing, why and what was I going to do about it??? This is the big one. We all have choices. More so as adults. We choose what we see, focus on and feel about things, people and feelings?
In the library on my quest for considered inspiration, I came across a chapter in a book, its abstract is here....
"The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves
When we think about loss of freedom, we seldom focus on the ways in which we voluntarily impose constraints upon our lives. Everything we are afraid to try, all our unfulfilled dreams, constitute a limitation on what we are and could become. Usually it is fear and its close cousin, anxiety, that keep us from doing those things that would make us happy. so much of our lives consists of broken promises to ourselves. the things we long to do - educate ourselves, become successful in our work, fall in love - are goals shared by all. Nor are the means to achieve these things obscure. and yet, we often do not do what is necessary to become the people we want to be. ......
We do not like to think of ourselves as trapped. This is, afterall, the land of opportunity. We are surrounded by images of success. our culture presents us constantly with stories of people who rose from obscurity to fame, often with limited talent. Rather than take hope from these stores, most people absorb them as additional indications of their own inadequacy. We are also confused and put off by the apparent ease with which these transformations occur. the slowness with which productive change actually takes place does not play well in the impatient society. Where do we find the determination and patience required to achieve the things we want?"
Taken from Gordon Livingston Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart (2004)
The message I am endeavouring to put to you, is that if you want something, it is essential to first have an inkling to know what, then act. Nothing new, I know, but think about this:
Change is not easy, real change takes inner reflection, a lot of courage and determination to move in directions which may take you away from your current comfort zone, friends, family or what you know. This is serious stuff, but at the end of the day, it is your life, and your choices.
Start by looking at what you can control - your thoughts, and what you do to your body. Even this can be scary and confronting. You are in charge of what you do, what you put in your body, on your body, and what you think, but you might need help. It is ok not to know, or have confidence to make the changes needed. You might not have the skill of how to fine tune your choices to your body, or to dive into the messages of your body, this is perfectly ok. This is what we have professionals for.
If you want to make change, it is about owning this thought, and then asking for the help to bring it together. It is a smart person who grows into what they want to be and courage to complete the transformation. Is this You? After all, it might only take a few tweaks or insights to shift the linkpin that is keeping you were you are, and if it is as simple as that, why wait for things to get bigger or harder?
Want help, then ask :)
Author of 4 books;
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: Any significant health change takes time to heal. Quick changes are possible, but not the norm. Please be prepared to allow the process time to transform, heal and calibrate over time and not overnight. If you have a serious mental health concern, are suicidal, have epilepsy, or taking psychotic medication, I am not able to treat these conditions using RTT. Nutritional intervention and support may be of use. It is suggested to book the free good fit chat to talk through your health concern and if I have the skill to support you personally. Referring you to another practitioner may be possible.
The contents of this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.