Believe it or not, life doesn't write its self. Life is created by what we believe, think, feel, do.
Life is created by the micro choices and how we interpret life's interplay with others.
I hear you say "But I didn't create this or that" No, you didn't create all physical events as many are natural events - the weather the fires etc. What you do create is the meanings and perceptions and actions and this = that statements that determine your feelings and actions thereafter.
As individuals, we only have control over ourselves, but do we?
How do we control the knee jerk reactions that seem so out of character?
Our habits that don't quite make sense or even counterintuitive?
Preconceived ideals we never questioned because they came from trusted adults while we were growing up?
Fears that keep us from reaching out, offering support to another because they might reject it.
These are the life we create from, and so many more.
Can you imagine creating from the other end of the scale?
Confidence, awareness, compassion consideration, knowing?
Creating with positive, excited possibility!
It is possible, because this has been my experience and that of many clients.
Doing the inner healing, transforming limiting beliefs into empowering ones.
Flipping feeling small, insignificant and unimportant inti worthy, lovable and able to 'stand tall'
What comes from this is entirely what you want to choose. You take back, Reclaim the parts of yourself that have been hiding or given to others to have power over you.
Is now Your Time? To Reclaim Yourself so you can Create Your life on Your Terms?
I think it is, because you are worth it!!
Reach out and lets kickstart the next transformation.
Growth happens at the edge of our comfort zone, results in creating a difference either in the way we feel, see things, be or have.
Think about this :)
Children's physical growth pushes the skin, bones, muscles etc to go beyond their current shell.
Mental growth as in learning a new skill and knowledge comes when we learn new things outside our current understanding.
Emotional growth occurs when we step beyond our comfort zone, meet and greet our shadow side of our emotions that are asking to come into the light.
The general consensus of growth is - change, strength, maturing into our fuller potential.
Is it easy? Usually not :(
Most of us need to explore, contemplate, give things a go, practice, hurt, fall over, get things wrong and with time and persistence things start to come to fall into place. The lessons and life start to become second nature.
We become more comfortable with our lanky limbs as our torso catches up after the growth spurt; We apply the new maths, English and formulas from our classes; we become more comfortable with the person we become.
But, what happens when our emotional side is stunted? If we are not able to experience the lessons needed because our role models didn't know better and their emotional growth was also stunted? If we were bullied and so shut down, or fear kept us stuck in the past?
This is where many of us become really stuck. Our body and mind grow, but our emotional growth is stunted, and often parts of our psyche remain stuck in our childhood. The result? Big kids in adult bodies floundering, wanting things to be and feel different, but without teachers or role models to guide the maturation process really not moving forward in healthy ways.
Interestingly, it seems, this emotional growth is the hardest type of growth to accomplish in life. Our society we don't have an emotional curriculum in school or social circles, we don't have initiation services to re-inforce and celebrate a teen's emotional and mental status. Most of us are floundering around hoping for the best. and it is our responsibility to seek out guidance, help and reassurance when we hit our next emotional growth spurt (and there are many during our stages of life. But, in a world with Mental Health stigma, an attitude of 'It will be right mate', or 'Just get on with it, pull up your big girl/boy pants and get over it' really doesn't help.
The tide is turning, thankfully, but, there is a long way to go in creating social change to truly support the three-four generations that are living during this time. The younger ones will be still influenced by Parents, Grandparents, peers, social influences. The Elders may not appreciate the changes, and struggle with the new supports available, more so since their beliefs are about 'Getting on with it, and not being a wuss'.
How can we break the cycles? By supporting as many as possible with deep, energetic change at the belief and DNA level.
The massive impact this has in raising one's self worth, abilities, and raising the bar to healthier emotional levels has far-reaching effects. Yes, it does still result in unsettling moments, but so does civil unrest, family disagreements and the like. Which is a healthier, outcome? Positive change or remaining stuck in the past pains and limiting beliefs?
If you are ready to work through your next emotional growth spurt, and want support, guidance and learn tools to make the process easier, consider the deep and comprehensive work offered at Steps to Change, and book a chat session to see what the healing options available for you. It really could be life changing not only for you but your family, your career and your future.
I will confess, at the beginning fo my life change journey, some 20 years ago, I was a thorn, seeing person. My justification still holds true, I was witness to negative role models with abusive tendencies. Growing up it shaped what I saw, felt and thought was normal.
Fast forward to being married and starting to look around at what happy marriages and adults look like. Reality check :( What I saw in myself and what I desired was a huge chasm, and the beginnings of deep rumblings.
I learnt. I explored. I forced myself to see the dark side
Our brain, that structure that sits in our skull, made up of cholesterol based casings around our neurons. The part of our body which we generally equate to the computer, the decision making and control centres of the body. Within this system, there is the autonomic - automatic and the makes things happen with out thinking; sympathetic, which has more conscious control - feel pain > move hand; enteric system is the internal decision of the digestive system to ensure an efficient and tight function of digestion.
The other way we talk about our 'brain' is its division of conscious and unconscious mind. There are some really big differences between the two parts. This article is going to broadly discuss
The conscious brain can be thought of your immediate awareness at any point in the day. For instance, if you bring your attention to a sound, a touch or thought, parts of your brain are fired up.
You conscious mind also tends to do what you ask it to do, which is primarily directed by your unconscious mind.
The Unconscious Mind
It is thought, the unconscious mind hears, sees, and feels everything, so what ever you come into contact with, your unconscious mind is aware at a very deep level what is going on. The conscious brain however, is only able to concentrate on a few points at any one time, but if given instruction or a specific request to pay attention to the smaller details we sense, the brain can access this information.
There are a 'points or rules' of the unconscious mind, which when understand it is possible to harness the unconscious to our betterment and heal our world as we see it.
The end of the financial year is here in Australia and now is as good as any to look at our progress, triggers and really get honest about what we have been doing over the past six months. Have you been able to meet your New Year Resolutions, or were these put to the side at some stage? Have you achieved some, gone on detours, up hill and down dale to arrive where you are now?
As with all significant dates or anniversaries they are a perfect opportunity to reflect, assess, regroup and refocus again. This is the same cycle that we use in learning, GPS navigation, life!
Being at the end of the Financial Year, I thought I would remind/ bring your attention to how money is a fantastic monitor for your inner world. I know, it seems crazy to consider Money in this way, but hear me out.
Money is only another physical representation of our inner world -
thoughts, expectations, beliefs etc.
When we are asked to review our financial position, do our taxes etc, it is a brilliant tool to look at our selves and consider what is going on inside and why we spend money the way we do and on what we spend money on.
The other premise I learnt in Money Bootcamp by Denise Duffield-Thomas which is really cool and helps to also reflect on your relationship is to see money as your partner, lover, friend and see how you treat each other. If you imagine money (energy) as being a person, what is your current relationship, and how would you really like it to be?
I ask you then, to consider the following questions and see what comes up for you. elves.
The change over of the financial year is here, and as with many significant dates, a great time to reflect. 6 months from your New Year's Resolutions too, how have you fared? As you think back over the past 6 months, and consider what has happened, or not, focus a bit more on what has happened and your responses to them.
If you haven't achieved as much as you would like, consider the reasons why. There is no wrong, only awareness, from which you can make different choices.
Feeling a bit stuck, or not moving forward as quickly as you would like, then consider deep diving into your limiting beliefs with our Transformation Session, or our most comprehensive RecaimME! Program. 9 core issues, 12 weeks!
The power of thoughts, more so when they are voiced. Considering words are created from thought which comes from a belief, or what is being read, recited or impersonating.
It is possible to change a belief by hearing or running the same program often enough. 'Normality' is created when we hear, see or do things often enough and creating an ingrained neural path. This is great, and just what we want when we choose to create healthy thought patterns, but the same happens with the negative.
This is how complacency can occur because we become conditioned or neutral to the situation. Not always healthy, and the body feels it by out of balance or out of sync or the latest buzz word - our of alignment with our true selves. Mis-alignment triggers body stress, turning to symptoms and if ignored long enough disease.
Fortunately, we can disrupt the process and come back into alignment with conscious effort, or faster using energetic circuit changes such as Kinesiology, Rieki, Bars, EFT, NLP and of course, Hypnotherapy.
Affirmations is a support process which helps to reinforce the changes created during the energy changes. They are constant reminders. Affirmations can be used alone, but change is created faster when combined with Belief change, Anchors and Visualisation.
In a nutshell, more we say something, the sooner the sub-conscious brain will internalise it, say it with passion, and images it is faster still. Adding affirmations to a clean slate after the belief and memory has been transformed, faster again. Convinced yet that a combined, thorough approach is powerful?
The Queen of Affirmations would have to be Louise Hay, who created a comprehensive list of affirmations for almost all aliments, and guided further research into the associations between our self perception, self beliefs and conditions. Her book You Can Heal your Life was written more than several decades ago and is still used as a primary text for health change.
Ready to read more, and make a few of your own affirmations? Download the affirmation worksheet.
Ths is just one of the topics taught in the ReclaimME! program.
Belief, by definition from my old school dictionary (circa 1981) is:
- The feeling or confidence that something is real, true or worthwhile or
- something which is taught or accepted as true.
Based on this definition it is easy to see how influencing beliefs are and how challenging they can be to move if needed. in summary, beliefs are the meanings we give to situations or people and are our expectations of how things should be.
Beliefs can be created at any stage of our life, but it is generally accepted our core beliefs are created by the age of 7. Which means parents, significant adults, siblings, early school, school in general, sporting clubs/activities, friends and peers.
We can become aware of our beliefs with curiosity and mindfulness. When things are not going the way we expect, or we experience big emotions either positive or negative, we can see our beliefs playing out.
When we feel the negative, generally our expectations, hopes, wishes are being violated or not being met. Think of the times when people have let down, disappointed or things haven't worked out and recall the thoughts and the emotions that have come up with this.
Now, think of when things have worked well and all is in good order, are you happier, more joyful because they are meeting your expectation and things are as they should be?
"Expectation is the mother of all frustration. " Antonio Blanca Banderas
High expectations of self can also be a double edge sword, but can certainly give us incentives to move towards goals, the challenge is to keep the expectations slightly out of comfortable reach to help us stretch.
Expectations of others are best to be monitored to encourage them to be the best people they can be, and be honest if you are ok with them who they are. After all, we can only control our own response and reactions.
Limiting beliefs are those that hold us back, and limit our progress generally due to fear, thinking we are not good enough, deserving or lovable, but at the core of this is the belief on not being good enough. This is where it gets tough, because we all want to be loved and be accepted, and have pleasure in life.
Trauma, by definition is a "deeply distressing or disturbing experience" or "physical injury". Tell me how many people haven't experienced traumatic experiences of different severity? The next question to ask, who gets to define if your interpretation of a situation makes it traumatic, or not? The only person qualified is yourself as you are the one that lived it, and you are the one that gave the situation weight.
Think about this..... two children (from the same parents) are playing in the yard, one tends to have the dare-devil streak and the other seemed to be born more reserved and cautious. Are either children wrong or inferior because of their make up? NO! Lets take it another step.
At one time a playful dog came into the yard and approached from behind the reserved child and started barking with excitement. Now, this is where it gets interesting. The dare devil child was more than happy to play with the dog and tumble with it. This little was was more adventurous to begin with and also saw the dog coming. The reserved child however received a shock when the dog barked and bounced on him, because he didn't see or hear it coming. Two different interpretations from seemingly similar situations. Yes, one child saw the dog coming, and the other didn't. Consider though what the children FELT and interpreted from the experience. The more reserved child from that time was always on edge and anxious around dogs, more so when they barked, and other child just loved dogs all the more and couldn't see the problem of his friend. Though he wanted to encourage his friend to be ok with dogs, he would also tease his friend when he pulled away from dogs.
So, what has happened?
There are two parts playing out. First is the person's nature they are born with, the second is the meaning the children associated with the situation. The reserved child was shocked and with the release of adrenaline flooding his body the cells were primed for the fear, flight and fight response.
Ready to Reclaim Your Life? Book a GoodFit Chat to discuss options to Shift from challenging situations to Reclaiming Your Own Life on Your Terms!
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