hen we are going through life's challenges we can feel overwhelmed, and big emotions do come up. Over my time, there have been many deep valley moments, and each time, I needed to learn another deeper core truth about the limiting belief/s that were ready to show up and transform. 

There are always silver linings and blessing in all things we do, but the bigger the issue, bigger the potential healing blessing, waiting to be discovered.  

My life purpose is to challenge and support people. I don't mean to go out of my way to make people uncomfortable, but when we become uncomfortable or challenged, we have the opportunity for develop clarity and choices.   

The one reason why I am so comfortable to challenge people is because I have challenged myself all my life.

See, I was never good enough as a child so I made it my mission to learn how to look after me, and ultimately I needed to learn how to love and accept myself.  My journey of learning about my gaps and hurts meant I have explored so many different wounds and at the core point of each was a sense of not being enough.  How did this show up?

• Not skinny enough - developed anorexia
• Not smart enough - studied my butt off moving from a D/C average to A average in 2 years
• Not loved enough - loved till the point of losing my self, my identity, self belief, and scaring people away
• Not worthy enough - fought to prove myself and pushed others away in the process
• Not lovable - developed depression and starting drinking to make the heartache real pain
• Not important enough - pushed through with perfectionism, study, busy-ness to distract and neglect myself

The silver lining of my experiences is quite simple.

• I had to learn how to accept and love me
• I have been exposed to so many different modalities of inner healing, clients get the benefit.  This is either in nutrition by my search to understand how the body has failed; by the mind and emotional work that innately linked to the body, and emotional health.
• By healing me, I have much greater empathy for those who have lived through similar or the same hells I have.
• Each time I was forced to look at my shadow side, not only did I learn how, when and why that part went into hiding, but helping the shadow to have its voice, to tell my its story.  This has been transcribed into my books.

I ask you, what changes would you also like?

• To be more ok with who and what you are
• Shift big emotions of guilt, shame and grief so you can reconnect with yourself and others with love?
• Reclaim a dream that has been on hold for how long? To take positive steps forward again to remember what love feels like, in your heart of hearts, because we are all love, but it gets lost with time and pain.
• Or as so many clients report "I feel free-er, lighter, happier. I'm going through the (book, exercises, mantras) and I just feel better.  My mind is calmer and my ...... are talking with me again.

How could your life change if you -

• learnt how to talk with yourself with more compassion and self care?
• increased your self love which made it easier to choose foods, drink and activities that fed your body and not mask the pain?
• saw your true value as being lovable, important and progressing and 'faulty' which translate to self acceptance and empathy?

Imagine for a moment, or many how your life could be different.  Again, some of the experiences myself and clients have come to enjoy are quite profound. We have a stronger mind, love and connection with yourself and also with those love and admire.  We have given up the feelings of being invisible, unimportant or even hated and embarrassed our own uniqueness and with this, people treat us differently and with higher regard.

This sounds good, does it not? Secure your spot in the ReclaimME! Spring Clean program and learn about you and where you want to go. 

Yes, there is an assumption that all or at least most people find change difficult, but after years of observation, I do think it is an accurate assessment.

Change, unless it is forced upon us with enough pain - loss; significant rug pulling, left field change many of us will not change quickly or easily. This is of interest.

We know and can see how things could be easier, lighter, better if we consciously choose to change, but yet, we hide, stay back, shy away from doing the action required to create the dream we have in our mind's eye.

There are a few reasons, which ones hold true for you?

• We are in a known, predictable state and so to change and do things differently is just too scary and foreign. It is better to stay in the familiar, after all, you already know the dance steps. Change the dance, and it is becomes too unpredictable and causes too much stress.
• Our worthiness issues come up screaming, keeping us small and 'safe'. If we step out of the norm, we run the risk of being ostracised, rejected from our current circle of contacts. Humans are very herd/group orientated mammals and if we risk stepping outside the safety of our group/clan/mob, then we run the risk of isolation, with little or no support and being alone. For many, this is not an option
• Our DNA and our cells have become 'wired' that keep rejuvenating with each cell division. By changing our thoughts and dreams alone, is simply not enough. We need to change at a much deeper level, at the cell level to create a ture vibration change become confident at our core and enable our body to regenerate healthier. This can be achieved with guided meditation, hypnotherapy, energy work; exercise, stress management, healthy sleep patterns, food choices, breathe work, detoxing, low irritant foods, supplements as needed and basically caring for our physical body.
  
• We now know a lot more about the interrelationship between food chemicals and our moods, body function and triggers. Finding our personal trigger points for less than health and we go a long way towards coping with change.
• Our beliefs - yes those things we consider to be 'our normal' or what is right for our life and our world. These have been inherited, embedded, influenced by, dictated etc from so many different sources, it is challenging to define what we created/own by our choice and what are really other's hopes, dreams and expectations for ourselves and life. As we work through our belief and value systems, we create the opportunity to heal, let go, polish and transform these beliefs into positive,  empowering ones which in turn enable a higher vibration,in turn making healthier choices much, much easier.

So, which of the above, and others contribute to your speed of change? There is no right or wrong, it just is. Everything and everyone is in the right place at the right time to create the experiences for evolution, empathy for others and to encourage us to evolve into our life purpose, and this is as unique as our very own DNA.
If you require support or knowledge around change, then there are several ways I can do this.

An interesting question, that cames to me this morning, and while we have previously spoken of habits and rituals, this one asks what do you do to help you come back to yourself, to calm, ground and keep you feeling safe?

For me, I am finding the ritual of making coffee in the morning. The process requires several touchpoints because I use an Italian percolator for the stove. It needs water, ground beans, and then screwing the gadget back together before lighting the fire. I find this, sometimes more than the pleasure of drinking the coffee to be even more powerful.

Another one is cleaning, and when I get to this point I know there are some big things coming up.

Rituals others use include the obvious - exercise, meditation, bathing, gardening, sitting in nature, cooking, etc. But, what are some of yours?

What are your go-to actions that help you come back to a state of neutral?

For some, this may seem ego-centric, to look after our own sanity and be protective of it, but, what happens when we continue to give to others from an empty vessel that is literally being wrung dry?

Not a lot can happen, and we run the risk of cracking under the pressure of being wrung out to get the last drops out of us.    Now, is the time to reassess what you need to look after you. To know how to re-centre, recalibrate, to calm your nervous system down again so you can function easier and more completely than not.

Other powerful things that you can do are:

• Epson Salt baths or foot baths - the magnesium is a powerful relaxant and the sulphur helps with detox.
• Filtered water to flush the toxins, to ensure the cells are hydrated supporting the biochemical pathways to happen easier.
• Gentle exercise that works for you. The goal is to stretch, release and getting the body moving. Hard workouts are great to burn off the excess cortisol and adrenaline, but they also require a tip-top body with nutrient support to maximise their effect.
• Meditation, the music of specific frequencies for the mood; singing bowls, chakra chimes etc are also useful to balance the centres faster.
• Venting, journaling and speaking with a trusted friend or counsellor to help you express what is going on and you can see the situation from a more birdseye view.
• Practice self-care and really feel into the pleasure of looking after you
• Play and be creative in ways that bring you joy, laughter, contentment etc. Dive into your expressive parts of yourself and really feel the feelings as they come up and through.

Allow yourself to be true to you.

If you want more support or structured activities, ReclaimME! Spring Clean walk you through all the activities and techniques we have explored over the last 12 weeks.  
Full of mindfulness exercises that help you to focus on what is really going on for you in the moment so you can identify easier the historic reason of what, how and why you believe, feel and react the way you do. Heal these and life gets easier!!

With three days to go before the monumental beginning of 2017, many are either in recovery mode from the year that was, or preparing for the 2017. 

Personally, for myself it is about taking time out to clean up loose ends, reflect on the good, the things that were challenges, and congratulate myself on the things that I have improved in.   Just like children, if we don't praise ourselves or at least recognise the good we do in any situation, we start to become disenchanted with ourselves and our lives. One serious reason to complete 'A Daily Reflection' activity.  Not just about gratitude, but an actual lesson prompting thought process so the next day can be different from the one just lived. 

Other benefits of this type of meditation, is that we can ask powerful questions, regularly which speeds up the change process, helps to create a greater sense of control over situations, which in turn help create mental and emotional wellbeing. 

A sample of the types of questions to ask each day and what positive reinforcements you can create to perpetuate change. 

In your Life’s Journal record the following for the day:
What great thing happened today?                                                             
Place this in your achievement board.

What emotions and feelings did you feel with?                                                                                                                                                                      
What memories arose during these experiences?                                                                                                                                                                 
What theme, or common emotions, if any were there between the memories?
What is the lesson for today’s ‘interesting’ experience/s?                                                                                                                                                  
What dreams or hopes where unleashed during today?                                                                                                                                                     
Place these on your dream board.

What future steps or actions are you to take to achieve your goals?  
Want more of these powerful daily/weekly ritual questions? Order your copy                                                

Celebrate the wins, even the small things of : 

• I stuck with the 'To do list' more than I used to
• I was able to speak and act honestly and feel good about looking after myself 
• I drank those 6 glasses of water and less coffee, 
• I walked around the office, the block, went out during lunch to get fresh are and reconnect to things other than work.

Put your wins in a place or diary so on your 'challenging' days you can reflect and see the progress being made. 

Knowing that we all act from stored memories or historic reactions in our sub-conscious, asking or reflecting on the associations between then and know helps to let go of the past 'issues' if they are not serving you.  Again, like a child that is finally being heard, the emotions and memories start to give up their frequent attention seeking whine.  Completing more powerful healing work on really powerful and hurtful memories is beneficial and if you need help to get through the big stuff, ask. ​

The part of the process when you have seen the good you have done and created and acknowledging the previous associations, one can choose to keep the lessons, and let go of the reactions.  Asking the following questions can really make a massive forward projection change in state, but also start the conspiracy with the universe as to what can be created from here on.  

Asking the following question at the end of each day, the beginning of each day, when we have planning or change discussions with colleagues, friends or family; change in planned activities, almost in every situation, a background dialogue can speed up the clarity required to make powerful and respecting decisions and therefore action.
​

• "What's our goal here?
  
• Who will be impacted if we do or don't make this decision?
  
• Whose role is this - who is accountable to make this happen?
  
• What capabilities and resources would we need to make this happen?
  
• How will we measure our progress and success?" 

The theme of the questions may change depending on the type of discussion or decisions required.  For instance, if you are planning the next day around family activities, part of the goal could be "To enhance connection with the children/partner and make memories"  The theme with a work project likely quite different "The end goal is to really bring this together so I can get the bonus or the recognition I need. 

The questions following "What is the gaol?" helps create steps of creation towards achieving the ultimate goal, whatever it is. 

At the end of the day, every single second of time can alter the projection of your life.  You are ultimately in charge of everything that happens in you, to you and around you.  You are in charge of the thoughts you allow to float up and stay vs floating and leaving.  It is a choice to choose not to be aware or conscious about what is going on in and around you. 

If you need help to create more clarity, consider ordering your copy of Steps To Change's Accountability and Awareness Journal (AAJ).  12 weeks/84 days of reflection, awareness, theory notes, weekly planning pages to help bring together internal change and take back your life.  

Remember, it takes courage to become aware, to make different choices and ask for help.

​So, dig out your courage you had when you were a toddler and you were fearlessly determined to walk, run and play