What is your self priority?
To be hold back, or live with apprehension or to love?
In this time of history, we are being challenged in so many different ways and being asked to make a choice. To step up and own our truth. We really do have choice than sometimes we easily see.
Consider in the moment,
"Is this how I choose to be?"
"Am I being authentic in this moment?
"Is there an alternative way of thinking and behaving at this moment?"
It is said, we only do have this moment. This space in time, for the past is gone, the future is to be written, somewhat by our choices. What we do, is hold the pen in hand for the words we choose to speak, the actions we take. By changing both of these, we potentially change our thoughts and feelings. In turn our mood, focus and outcomes.
The question arises... What do you choose to focus on? These things we are experiencing in this time in history are meaningful and confronting. We are at risk of loosing so much, yet, the opposite is also true. We are, in this time experiencing at a place of incredible opportunity to help write a different outcome in our personal story. What this will be, is up for each of us to choose, and declare.
In the declaration of what we decide to live by.
Our values, character and actions, what ever they are.
We all are in the time of opportunity to exponentially grow. We are being asked to make a choice , and one only we can make for ourselves and our children. Not of others, not for our partners, but our decision of where we choose to walk from this point on.
There is a huge benefit to being in the moment. It reduces stress!
Your attention is only on your breathing, where you are, who you are with. So, bring your attention back to now, it also enables you to choose your next thought, feeling and action.
Where do you want to put your focus? In calm and gratitude, or in fear and frenzy?
It takes practice, I totally get it. I struggled with this for along time. Even now, there are moments where I spiral down. I have to literally stop and allow the feelings to be there, and let them be. Don't fix them, fight them or give too much attention to them. I give allowance for my thoughts and my feelings to be real and it makes such a difference.
If they continue to spiral down, or become a bit too intense, I act, and do the exercises outlined in ReclaimME! Spring Clean. I ask very direct questions to uncover the underlying fear and who's issue it really is.
Give it a go, next time there is challenging news or ideas coming your way.
Your time is super stretched, will this be important in a month's time? In a year, longer?
Is it of value to build the children a safe framework and minimise their trauma and stressors?
Is it about you now so you can be there for others or burn out?
I agree, these can sound like a pipedream but practice does make it easier, as does compassionate thought and empathy for our selves and others.
Over the past few weeks, I have been asked a few times "What is hypnotherapy, how does it work, and what happens?"
Let's explore this together.
I was first introduced to hypnotherapy and guided meditations with the intent to heal the past way back in 2008. My desire to get rid of the pain in my heart after the divorce and to start feeling stronger, and better again. Mind, I didn't know what the meant either.
Over the years, I have used and practiced slightly different styles, but the basic premise is the same - to support clients to venture into their subconscious where all memories and stories we live are stored. Now, the storage location can be in memories section of the brain, but also in the muscles, organs and cells which is why hypnotherapy for diseases can be so profound.
The client is always aware of what is going on, and they are in charge of the process, and my role is to really ask questions as I would in a clinical conversation. The subconscious knowns all, so it is very able to dialogue with the therapist too. As the client is guided to their deepest selves, their highest self is also invited to be part of the process. What I mean by this is the part of the person that is connected to God, The Universe, Source, that only wants the best for us, and that is to feel and live in the feeling of love, joy, and peace. Therefore, having this guiding force as the leader, also equates to having a very loving, power with the intent of love working with the client, and myself through out the entire session.
The 'steps' as a general rule is what happens, keep in mind, each session and person is different.
Our parents and grandparent's era was very different to what we now know to be healthy, wise and helpful.
They also didn't have trained therapists etc like we do these days.
Finances were very different and priorities reflect the social norms of the time.
Most of the time 99.5% of the time, the responsible person is honestly so sorry, shamed and guilt ridden about what happened.
I think, innately people seek to be heard, appreciated and connect with others, yet to do this well, we need to address parts of the past that have hidden our ability to do this. Consider the infant, who when born seem to melt even the hardest of hearts, how and why? Babies are pure and filled with love.
Fast forward through life experiences of not always being supported, encouraged, fed or loved, simply because parents are tired and usually working with their own unfilled needs and not able to be fully present.
Not their fault or the infants, but a reality. In truth, unless one is malicious we really are doing the best we can with what we have learnt and developed. Not everyone has been born into well-adapted, healthy, feeling adults who have worked through their own life scares.
As a result, we accidentally pass our hurts, fears, limitations, expectations, failed dreams etc onto our children, unintentionally we perpetuate the dramas, improve in some areas, worsen others.
What if though we took the courage needed to address our fears, limitations and scares we have to hide behind the masks and armour we wear to protect ourselves from being triggered, and often with the intent to protect others from the black holes we think will hurt our loved ones.
What if, we dived into these parts and filled them with light and love? Imagine how life experiences can be lived with more love, passion, connection because we filled from the inside out and softening of the armour so more love can leave, and we can connect with others more authentically.
This is what I help people do. How do I know? I had to do just this after my third life attempt. I figured if I wasn't allowed to die then I needed to learn to live.
Everyone wants to feel love and acceptance, but do we really need to wait till we are desperate or living a half-life to dig into ourselves so we can live more fully? Learn to know yourself so you can create your Life on YOUR Terms according to your values and desires. From love.
Beginning can be the hardest and scariest part of the journey, why?
Because we have been trained to strategise and look for pitfalls and protect ourselves.
What if, we thought as young children do. See the toy, the object the skill and just keep at it and make some healthy noise along the way. I dare myself and others to just start, work it out along the way. Trust the process that the teacher, the right step, turn and knowing will show up at the right time. It only takes trust, and faith that all things will work out.
You might ask "How Can I trust, when I have been hurt so many times before?"
But your resistance and fear is a learnt response, come back to yourself, allow your inner free child that is curious about life and play come forward, take your adult hand and start again from this place of play and wonder.
Not easy when we have been burnt and hurt to the core, but what are the alternatives? To stay stuck and in isolating disconnect, or take a leap and give something else a go?
The choice is ultimately yours to make, but I will challenge you to dive into the part of you that is love, play, and joy and allow these sparks to filter back out again, through the mud, walls and armour, let their light and warm melt away your fears and allow more love out, and therefore in.
How do you really create more of what you want?
Do you often find your new year resolutions or goals not coming to fruition?
Is it as simple as turning off, or shutting down, unplugging for a bit. It can be.
There are 5 core things that can be done, simply enough to speed up and make the process easier.
1. Prepare the mental, emotional and physical space
2. Detail the best of the situations and develop your focus towards this.
Make it all positive.
3. Allow the negative, resistance and the pull back comes through and write these down and then do the forgiveness prayer for each limiting belief and fear that came through.
4. Then, reread the good things you choose to create to fill the void. Max out the great feelings you are going to feel as these things come to fruition.
5. Repeat, refine and do for a min of 10 days, and see how quickly your world starts to change, because you are changing.
If you are unsure what the steps are or how to complete them, they are part of the RecaimME! Spring Clean program
What is holding you back from creating what you actually want from and in life?
How does adversity and it's opportunity show up?
'Discussions' with others.
The need to be right, when there often isn't any 'right' but different ways of seeing or doing the same action.
These are only a few of the ways things show up.
All of these 'situations and feelings' indicate there is a difference between your thoughts/actions and values.
Your feelings are not looking for judgement, but are asking us to observe and explore where we are out of alignment and being authentic.
What is happening, compared to what your hidden beliefs and rules tell you?
Where in the past have you felt unheard, bullied, hurt, victimise, wronged, damaged, violated, etc, etc, etc?
These feelings are triggered to protect from a similar situation happening again. In the now, it is about checking to see if it is valid or an overprotective memory.
How do you want to move forward from this point on?
What action do you need to take to operate from an aligned, more loving choices (to self and others) and not from fear or protection.
What skills or knowledge could you develop or learn to move forwardly more confidently to meet your goal and personal expectations for yourself.
For example, how to say no and create healthy boundaries.
Allow others to be themselves and not be bullied into doing what isn't right for you.
How to have healthy, clear, respectful and honest communication without sacrificing your own values and ethics.
Do you need to physically remove yourself from the situation and to do this, require another place, job, base to walk into first to ensure you mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.
Do you need to reach out and ask for help from trusted others, counsellor, doctor, allied health etc. to ensure you are looked after and supported.
Or, maybe you just need to have your voice and tell yourself to get on with what is needed and step into the role you are resisting.
Get over ourselves and to be honest at times 'grow up'. Take full ownership of what is happening, what is being co-created and work on your side of the situation.
Stop pussy footing around and get on with the task at hand, feel the resistance but prove to yourself your greatness and ability to do what is needed to get the job done. As Nike once said "Feel the fear and do it anyway"
After-all, fear, pain, anger etc is only large doses of unexpressed energy that can be used to propel us forward into massive action as encouraged by Anthony Robbins.
Feelings are the chemical reaction in the body when emotions are triggered from a memory, a song, hearing a phrase or someone pushing out buttons - good and not so good. All these are created early in life and reinforced with life experiences.
How we deal with these emotions are influenced by a number of things.
Our beliefs of what is acceptable feelings and the story we hold around them. Example -
"Don't rock the boat" is often referring to keeping upsets, hurts and different points of view to ourselves. Yet, this escalates confusion, disconnection, frustration and potentially resentment.
How shut down one is - do you allow yourself to feel all the emotions, or do you avoid, distract or ignore some emotions because they are uncomfortable, or even scare you? For example using distracting habits such as drinking, excessive socialising or spending to avoid feeling alone, not connected or isolated.
Our view of others - do you have some people on a pedestal or higher regard, and think/feel you are less than? Do you see other's 'faults', yet this is often a projection of what we think about ourselves. There are so many more aspects how each day we hold back, keep ourselves from being real and authentic to ourselves that trigger dis-ease, create social and physical symptoms and reduce our living experiences.
There is hope though and it is never too late to help the earlier experiences change into healthier, happier ones, creating more peace, connection and compassion for the way you feel about you and others.
Grab your copy of 20 Pivotal Questions. The quality of your life depends on clean, heathy, nurturing beliefs.
This is was purposefully written to make you think and become a more level headed. We are not more dysfunctional as we think we are, and to help create more self compassion, and more for others too. We are all working towards living and creating more of we want - love and sharing of this!!
Let's put this into perspective.
New experiences that ask of us to learn new skills, and let go of the heavy baggage so we can travel easier, lighter, or more so when we are treading water, that we don't drown under the weight of the past.
It is possible. It starts with a thought, the enquiry, the learning, the healing, letting go and transforming one's self into the character we choose to become. Hopefully, more Love, Grace, Humility, etc.
Let's be honest, we all have dreams, aspirations, wishes etc, if we don't we are living a shell of a life without passion and life.
How to make big things happen, the ideas, dreams, hopes, aspirations that seem just too big to get one's head around. The one's that make your heart race in anticipated excitement or fear because the outcome could be so, so good!
Or maybe the goal for you is
First things - check in the goal or aspiration is actually yours and not to appease another, or to fulfill someone else's expectation otherwise you are going to be working out of alignment with your true self. Misaligned attention is a body and mind stress.
Secondly - describe the outcome in as much detail as possible. Get descriptive, use as many adjectives as possible. Get creative. You might be more comfortable in painting, drawing, doodling making music etc..Anything to help anchor your new reality to your subconscious.
Not sure what the goal could feel like? Watch movies, documentaries etc to help you create a visual/descriptive story to recall at a whim.
Remember, the subconscious really doesn't know the difference between a fantasy or reality, so the more times you can see, feel and anchor the goal, the more the subconscious gets on board to create it.
The side effect to this, while can be painful and challenging at times are huge, massive opportunity blessings. As you change your internal imagery, you also change your vibration and what you send out to the world - things not of similar value, vibration etc will move away. Yes, the opportunity is to heal your attachment to events, people, expectations, limiting beliefs and actions not aligned with your bigger picture.
The best part of this is life does get better, it does become lighter, clearer and more loving as you clear out the heavier beliefs, and emotions from your psyche.
Thirdly - give yourself to gift of clearing out, healing, letting go and transforming your limiting beliefs that have been holding you back all this time.
Most of the beliefs aren't even yours. You took them on at an age (before 7) before you knew enough to consciously assess the situation and make a choice. Your parents, siblings, school, culture, society etc you were exposed to gave you these and through osmosis learning, you took them on. Is it time to review these and heal the ones that really are not serving your goal?
Your self belief and self perception was also generally formed within the first 3 years of life, so again, your feeling less then, unworthy, unloved, not fitting in, not smart enough etc, stem from a time that hurt your feelings, but didn't make sense and you internalised it.
Believe me, we all have done this, we all have hang ups, some learnt bigger, harder, more isolating ideas than others.
Fourth - Learn skills, tricks of the trade, in the moment support techniques to keep the vibe high, the goal front of mind, re-affirming your conviction etc. When we do this often, many times a day, then the goal becomes easier and closer!
So, back to the original question... What is one kick butt goal you would like to achieve and what does it look, feel and be like?
If you are not sure, and are ready to take stock of your current life and learn the why, the how, heal, and grow, then the ReclaimME! Spring Clean Program is the one to start with. Combine With the ReclaimME! Transformation package, and you are one your way to a new life.
Start playing the What If... game. It is quite liberating and freeing.
The full details are in both my What the Mind Sees Book and The Awareness and Accountability Journal. It is also used in all the ReclaimME! programs, it is that powerful!!
Everything starts with a thought, and so we can use this to our advantage to create more of what we want. The steps are simple enough, but the big secret is to heal and let go of the limiting beliefs that stop us from stepping into the dream. How can I say this?
Because it is one of the tools I use all the time to create a different outcome, and besides, all the Gurus in the Mindchange field say the same thing.
It works in the premise of
So, if you don't like what you are seeing in your world, in your life, then you need to change the imagery, beliefs and the life you are living in your head and body. Be the Change You Want To See in the World. We must be it before is can come to pass. Hence the fun of the What If... game.
This is what you do.
1. Sit in a space that you find inspiring, or makes you feel good.
Or, what an inspirational movie, documentary etc where you can witness a win over a difficult situation.
2. Now, consider your life now, and where you really want it to be.
As a child, what were some of your dreams and aspirations etc.
When you look around, what do you see others doing and being and get a feeling or knowing that says "I want to do that too!!"
3. Next is to write out, without filtering all the things you would like to be doing.
Write it out, brainstorm, give yourself permission to brain dump without filter.
4. When you have exhausted the ideas, then allow the reasons why it can't happen, shouldn't happen objections etc. Yes, this is confronting, potentially trigger making, painful etc, but now you get to see with more clarity 'why' you are living your life to the capacity you are now, with the limitations/handbrake on and why it is so challenging to move ahead.
The magic can happen now!!
When we have this awareness, we can literally take our power back.
Yes, it is possible. So many have done it before us, why not you.
If these ideas of possibility excite you, then you are ready to take the next step into your empowered future.
Reach out and book your session to start the ball rolling. You don't have to take the slow road, you have an opportunity for support and steps forward to create more of what you are dreaming about.
Book your session to start the real life changing process. It is possible and now can be your time too.
Author of 4 books;