Belief, by definition from my old school dictionary (circa 1981) is:
- The feeling or confidence that something is real, true or worthwhile or
- something which is taught or accepted as true.
Based on this definition it is easy to see how influencing beliefs are and how challenging they can be to move if needed. in summary, beliefs are the meanings we give to situations or people and are our expectations of how things should be.
Beliefs can be created at any stage of our life, but it is generally accepted our core beliefs are created by the age of 7. Which means parents, significant adults, siblings, early school, school in general, sporting clubs/activities, friends and peers.
We can become aware of our beliefs with curiosity and mindfulness. When things are not going the way we expect, or we experience big emotions either positive or negative, we can see our beliefs playing out.
When we feel the negative, generally our expectations, hopes, wishes are being violated or not being met. Think of the times when people have let down, disappointed or things haven't worked out and recall the thoughts and the emotions that have come up with this.
Now, think of when things have worked well and all is in good order, are you happier, more joyful because they are meeting your expectation and things are as they should be?
"Expectation is the mother of all frustration. " Antonio Blanca Banderas
High expectations of self can also be a double edge sword, but can certainly give us incentives to move towards goals, the challenge is to keep the expectations slightly out of comfortable reach to help us stretch.
Expectations of others are best to be monitored to encourage them to be the best people they can be, and be honest if you are ok with them who they are. After all, we can only control our own response and reactions.
Limiting beliefs are those that hold us back, and limit our progress generally due to fear, thinking we are not good enough, deserving or lovable, but at the core of this is the belief on not being good enough. This is where it gets tough, because we all want to be loved and be accepted, and have pleasure in life.
As babies we are born into the hope and expectations, because we are love, and there is a beautiful calming statement that helps when we may feel lost and abandoned or not sure why we are even here in when we use our testing times as a guide.
"A much greater force wanted you to be here. God, the Universe, the Great Spirit or what ever name you associate with wanted you to be born, wanted your greatness to shine through. You were born through parents, but your spirit comes from the heavens" Let that sink in, You, yes you, are meant to be here and now it is your divinity to come back to yourself. Back to knowing your loving state and all that it is.
Now is the time to look after you, as it is housing your great spirit. Self care is a huge beginning point food, relaxation, nurturing your inner child to show her/him that you are looking out for them again. Your Inner Child Is Divinity incarnate through you, is in all of us and while others may not recognise yours or others, they most likely are really struggling to see their own first.
So, some of the steps are - be mindful and journal what feelings come up and ask "What else?" Keep saying this over and over and you will get to the core belief. You are likely to feel intense emotions, and if you feel 'safer' and want support, just ask. :)
When you feel you can't go any further, and it is ok not to get to the core until you are comfortable to do so, pick that little one and give them a massive hug and reassure them that you, the adult is there and is willing to step up to the role of parenting, supporting, loving and nurturing the little one how to be ok. It is my belief and experience that getting support and working with a practitioner to show you the steps and give you confidence to do this is invaluable. It can reduce the risks of overwhelm and getting stuck in the heavy emotions.
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