What a week, it has been jammed packed finalising study, working and finishing a stage that was almost overdue; then bang, the weekend. I didn't have a deadline, or anything that I had to do. I had freedom of choice again, and that got me adrift! What did I end up doing? Going into the office to make sure the project didn't run over time, and came home to clean house, cook a fabulous dinner for 1 and watch two thought provoking movies.
While it was good to have choice, it also felt weird after a few weeks of 'must get this done' urgency and lots of weekend study and late nights. To do added value to life, and self care was a weird feeling. Then, to wake up on Sunday knowing it was Mother's Day and all that it inherently brings up for me. So, Sunday was mixed up, and charged. What WAS I GOING TO DO WITH MYSELF??? As it was I stayed in my PJs till about 1.30, showered and went to the library. With a good dose of pondering questions, a dose of self pity and big dose of wanting to breakthrough the frump that I had found myself in.
Was this a sabotage, or an opportunity. Well, that is the first question isn't it? It depends how we choose to interpret things. For me, the frump was the perfect thing to feel so I could explore the ideas of what I felt I was missing, why and what was I going to do about it??? This is the big one. We all have choices. More so as adults. We choose what we see, focus on and feel about things, people and feelings?
In the library on my quest for considered inspiration, I came across a chapter in a book, its abstract is here....
"The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves
When we think about loss of freedom, we seldom focus on the ways in which we voluntarily impose constraints upon our lives. Everything we are afraid to try, all our unfulfilled dreams, constitute a limitation on what we are and could become. Usually it is fear and its close cousin, anxiety, that keep us from doing those things that would make us happy. so much of our lives consists of broken promises to ourselves. the things we long to do - educate ourselves, become successful in our work, fall in love - are goals shared by all. Nor are the means to achieve these things obscure. and yet, we often do not do what is necessary to become the people we want to be. ......
We do not like to think of ourselves as trapped. This is, afterall, the land of opportunity. We are surrounded by images of success. our culture presents us constantly with stories of people who rose from obscurity to fame, often with limited talent. Rather than take hope from these stores, most people absorb them as additional indications of their own inadequacy. We are also confused and put off by the apparent ease with which these transformations occur. the slowness with which productive change actually takes place does not play well in the impatient society. Where do we find the determination and patience required to achieve the things we want?"
Taken from Gordon Livingston Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart (2004)
The message I am endeavouring to put to you, is that if you want something, it is essential to first have an inkling to know what, then act. Nothing new, I know, but think about this:
Change is not easy, real change takes inner reflection, a lot of courage and determination to move in directions which may take you away from your current comfort zone, friends, family or what you know. This is serious stuff, but at the end of the day, it is your life, and your choices.
Start by looking at what you can control - your thoughts, and what you do to your body. Even this can be scary and confronting. You are in charge of what you do, what you put in your body, on your body, and what you think, but you might need help. It is ok not to know, or have confidence to make the changes needed. You might not have the skill of how to fine tune your choices to your body, or to dive into the messages of your body, this is perfectly ok. This is what we have professionals for.
If you want to make change, it is about owning this thought, and then asking for the help to bring it together. It is a smart person who grows into what they want to be and courage to complete the transformation. Is this You? After all, it might only take a few tweaks or insights to shift the linkpin that is keeping you were you are, and if it is as simple as that, why wait for things to get bigger or harder?
Want help, then ask :)
Does this resonate with you? Think about the foods you tend to eat if you are celebrating, or content; Happy or sad; Frustrated or concerned. Do you eat slightly or dramatically different when you are in a good mood, compared to being worried, or down in the dumps.
I will hazard a guess that you, like most of us choose differently and our mood, self belief, our unconscious thoughts, let alone changes in body chemistry due to hormonal shifts, microbiota, medication, nutrient deficiencies seasons etc make huge differences too. Who, or what then is in charge of our food choices?
Studies have been shown that all of the above influences, but have you monitored yourself and compared your go to choices due to emotions? Not many have?
I was listening to a series of podcasts over the weekend and one struck me the most. Not new information, but presented in a way that made me stop what I was doing - assignments, and sit, listen and poinder what she was saying.
Do consider taking 30 minutes out and then some time after to ponder how her message in the past has impacted on your health and life choices. Three simple words, when you allow yourself to hear and take them in can have such a profound change.
You may not appreciate the significance immediately, and that is ok. I will however encourage you to take up the challenge of putting the words on your bathroom mirror, in your phone as a reminder, and anywhere else that you will see them regularly.
Hope you are curious enough to go ahead now :)
Did you watch it? If not, what is stopping you, your unconscious mind knowing what it is going to talk about and already blocking the message? Yes, it is possible for that to happen.
In line with the video is a quote that also resonates.
" Let resentment know that it is no longer welcome as your mind's house guest. Tell your excuses that they must excuse themselves now. Declare that you will no longer be driven by the way you've been living, and don't let the door hit your past on the ass on the way out. " Scott Niolet
The past is the past, the now is the now. Each second we get to choose a different action than we did in the past; a different feeling, and certainly a different way of seeing ourselves. Once you have noted the emotions that trigger food choices, it is possible to be a lot more discerning as to what you put in your fridge, let alone your mouth.
The challenge then becomes do you see yourself to be enough and worth making the choices and changes that are worthy of your best self that you truly are, or do you feel you need to self punish for whatever reason longer than you have to date?
Self punish may seem harsh, but, if
It is ok if you don't grasp what I am saying here, but I do see it often in clients and myself. Food and all its rules become a tool of self harm or deprivation and not a celebration of the abundance of what we have been blessed with. We have accepted the love of food and what it ultimately gives us .... life.
The challenge has been laid down..... are you ready to own your feelings, points of view, rules and listen to the messages your body wants you to hear? Are you read to make a real change and be guided by your body wisdom and not the latest fad or even science for that matter as you are not a test tube, and you are not a lab rat!! You are a unique person who has had your life experiences to date, and your soul or truest self only wants the best for you and to be you. It is as simple as that.
If any of these questions raised more, good. they were meant to. Now, what to do about that? Ask, that is what we are here for, what is it you would like to know. join our private FB group where you can get support and ask questions, for free.
Join our signature, all encompassing mind, body and spirit Food Intolerance Breakthrough program. You are stepped through the changes to make to increase your awareness of your body to get your life back to where you want it to be. www.stepstochange.com.au the details are there.
Sometimes we need to be real to help others.
I had a food reaction this week, one that gave me a significant headache, aching muscles and fatigue that I hadn't had for a while.
I will also preframe this by saying that I had been pushing my body with the trip to Newcastle that was an emotional rollercoaster, a tiring trip and sleeping in the car, and long study days. So, my body was already stressed and running on adrenaline.
As is often the case, when we need to look at our 'stuff' our subconscious seems to know what to do to make it happen oh that much faster. This time, it was my taste buds asking for a coconut chicken curry. Now curry for me is a problem but I was tired, hungry and bored of eating all the 'safe' foods all the time. I wanted some comfort food that was different and warming. Mistake? Maybe. The 2nd night of the dish, is what pushed me over the edge. One night and I could have gotten through it, but not 2, one after the other, and certainly not while tired and stressed!!!!
The upside it made me stop and take stock. When we are in pain, our body needs to rest and allow the body to take over and redirect nutrients, and energy to minimise more damage. Besides, my brain couldn't think much more than the routine steps anyway.
The pain, while in the regular places - liver detox spot, made me get mad enough to look at it this time with different eyes. i wanted, no i needed to understand what it was really about. I needed to know what was hidden in this message that wanted to be shifted. I should reframe this question, but that one is a bit too personal. Let me say matters of the heart, and family was being really pushed and I wanted to understand what and why so I could help improve the outcomes.
This morning, I sat in my morning seat. A chair that is in a corner, next to a big window framed with green leaves. A cosy place that I can look into the home and be grateful. What came up was I needed to forgive myself for my unrealistic expectation as a child for my parents to give me a God Like love. It was unrealistic because humans are not God, and we ALL have issues and hang ups and fears, and limitations that keep us from being our God selves. I also really need to forgive them for being as wounded as they were, it wasn't their fault either. Their upbringing and ife experiences, the culture at the time didn't encourage self awareness, let alone healing.
Coming to the deep, unmet need as a child, and also knowing my past, it made a lot of sense. The pain eased, the head is starting to think again, Tapping has been done, and I am grateful to the teachers along the way that have opened the world to promoting self healing in ways that may not have been in history.
Thank you to each of you too, because I believe you are here because you want change in your lives, whether it is for your body only, or a combination of mind, spirit and body. We are all drawn to what and whom we need to help us at the time, even if we don't see what it is all about at the time.
Im trusting this message may help or give hope to others here, and as I said in the opening statement, by being open, it gives permission for others to be real as well.
Wishing each of us only the best, and smoothest of learning transitions as possible. xx
What is this leading to??
I challenge each of then, as I think I can safely say that those in this group don't acknowledge how great you are. Between been great Mum's, Grandma's, Dad and Gramps, working, or caring for others, how often do you really sit back and look at what you have gone through to date and really, I mean, really see the good, the lessons and the growth you have taken on through the valleys, plateaus and mountain peaks?
Don't underestimate the positive impact each of you have on each other, even if we don't all reach out or share. Group consciousness creates the space of support. Unconscious holding of the space. So please, in the chat lines of the closed Face book group, join us if haven't already done so, and share one thing that do acknowledge that have done. It could be that you got out of bed today and got dressed, or decided to get your hair cut at the dressers, or buy that new winter coat in readiness for the season. You have travelled across the country, or waters to make a difference in any which way. I think you have got the drift. What have you done that when you think about it is pretty impressive and special even if no body else thinks so?
Author of 4 books;