It has been two months since I have written post here, and a lot has happened in that time. Following my own suggestions of lofty questions and completing the journal questions, to gain clarity and action a journey started that has snowballed into something totally unexpected, and the courage to do it. My questions were around abundance, connection with family and friends, and self awareness, these came in spades, one might say. AS the saying goes, what we focus on, we attract and to be honest so many things in my life had come to a crossroad, it was becoming a health hazard. I was stale, tired and disillusioned. Things were feeling like dead-ends, brick walls and not fulfilling. For this reason, my mind really started to wonder towards what if, and what could be different - lofty questions. The universe kicked in fairly quickly, as the notion to take off on an extended adventure, reset the button so to speak and see what happened. As a result, the following has happened
The Europe trip, 3 months of wondering the groves of the continent starts in a few weeks. Excited and a little nervous, but seeing how supported I have been in preparation reinforces to me, I just need to go and do. I have been able to create the money to pay for the ticket, I have reached out to people there who I haven't spoken to in ages and so re-connecting, The sequence of events leading up to now has been nothing short of synchronicity, in other words perfect, divine timing.
Coming back to the idea of focus. For a long time, there has been an internal struggle around 'what material things are acceptable to have'. For some, possessions, and big things at that seem to be the thing to strive for. The keeping up with the Joneses, and keeping in form according to media, and advertising. This is something I have generally not followed, I can't see the point of spending money to have the latest whatever for the sake of it. If it is needed because there isn't anything else in the house to use, then maybe, but not just because I am told I need it by the TV. I have been fortunate to live comfortably in a van, drive a car - until it died, I eat well, what I choose, I travel, and do things that interest me. How? I choose to. I am also in the position of not needing to consider others either. I chose to do things my way. Yes, at times I think about what others might think - my kids, my ex are big testers, but the beauty of this reflection is clarity - Do I want to be bigger, more successful, more wealth at the cost of my peace, comfort and sanity. For me the answer is no. I would rather a simple life and contentment, health and emotional wealth than money that drains me. Living simply philosophy is a good one, if one can do it, otherwise I think it would be too stressful. More so if the choice to do so was to meet another's expectation or trend, which is something I see coming through. Similar to the happiness and gratitude trend. There is a good dose of truth and health in the messages, however, like most fads the message is great until we feel we need to perform only from that space and not be real. It is impossible to always feel and be happy, content, loving and compassionate. Life can suck and big time at that, emotions of hate, anger, rage, and revenge do surface. Are these bad? No they are not, but we are told we are not healthy if we feel them, we are not living the happy way. The balance side of this is all things are allowed to be, the good, the bad, the ugly, the painful and down right run away and hide feelings, it in how we deal with them that counts. Knee jerk or auto pilot reactions when we take time to consider them and learn from them are powerful teachers. It is then we can make changes in our thought, deeds and actions. If we can take time out and ponder the big emotions that are coming up and allow ourselves to have a conversation with the emotions to learn the lesson they are bringing to our attention then they are helpful, an art of allowance that is beautiful and healing. For instance, if a person just annoys you, see if they are doing things that you do, but you don't particularly like - the shadow self; If there are obstacles or things just 'not working' triggering frustration or even bulldozer affect are there control issues, or insecurity about not being in control showing up. The deeper one delves into the core issue allows for fascinating realisations. You might need some professional help to take the dive, but it is worth figuring out the triggers so one acts from choice and integrity. What is any of this got to do with you? Possibly everything or nothing. I am purely sharing to show that others are doing, what maybe you would like to do. That small changes in thoughts, focus and choice can create massive impact of change. In many ways from the living I have done to date, and learnings made has only reinforced the idea that we can only do so much the rest really is up to what our life journey is meant to be. Yes, there is a lot more depth to this statement that I have not, and are not yet ready to share, so if you the reader is willing to take a leap of faith and start considering your life, your choices to date and be honest about what your crossroad choices are and then decide what is important to you. They are your values, desires and acceptances, and no one would take them away form you. Live our life for it is truly only yours.
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