There are so many ways we tell ourselves what we think of ourselves. What we say in our mind when we do good, or not; when people give complements, or critique; what we choose to do that is either health supporting or not.
Life happens, but it is how we interact with life that determines how ‘well’ we live it. It all occurs based on our choices and self respecting our needs at any given moment. I am not promoting anyone to neglect commitments, or to ignore abuse or withhold from others. What I am promoting with this concept is, first get clear of what is important to you, and from this space make choices that support your values, and those who are important to you.
Compromise is part of this, but when they are consciously made and negotiated from a place of love, for self and the others involved. It creates a very different feel and outcome.
If we continue to do what we have always done, as the saying goes, we will get what have always gotten. Is this how you see the rest of your life? There is no judgement here, and I will support people which ever way they choose, as long as the choices are not morally, ethically or against my personal value system. Just like you, I too have the choice to say no, and most certainly done so in the past, even when close family members expected me to participate in blackmail or other unsavory actions and thoughts. There has to be a line in each person’s life where we stand for what they honestly believe in and while it is painful to let those people go with love to follow their chosen life path, self care, respect and honor is important and each of us are required to assess and stand for what we believe in.
When we choose to look after ourselves, it reduces the level of resentment towards ourselves and others; frees up energy, interest and enthusiasm to do what we choose and enjoy doing. The operative word in this is “choose”. When we choose, we are saying yes to something and not resisting or fighting against it to keep other people happy. When we choose to do things we normally wouldn’t do to help or support another it has the energy of giving, which is even higher than acceptance and it tends to deepen the relationship even more.
On the flip side of this, acts of self care, can certainly also be saying NO to things. This act of self respect maybe a much needed act you are craving. Have a look through the following suggestions, and see which, if any you may benefit from saying not to. As you read through each of them, feel what your response is. If it is Hell Yeah! Then mark them with a big tick or other symbol. These are the ones to really start putting into your action plan.
If there is no resonance, or agreement with them, then these actions are not a priority for you. The list can change from one time to another depending on what is going on, and as you evolve, so be open to change and responding as needed at any given moment, this too is an act of self love.
So, here we go..
The wheel of life is a useful tool to help you identify where you perceive yourself to be in your life in relation to the various life compartments such as Relationship, Work/Career, Relaxation, Health etc.
Without knowing where you feel you are, and being honest about this with yourself, it can be a challenge to know what could be contributing to your health/wellness or your dis-satisfaction. To start the process, download the Wheel of Life information and activity shhet
We all talk to ourselves, and beside the common thought that self talkers are going insane, I would suggest the opposite. Each voice we hear is a messenger in disguise, and certainly holds pearls of wisdom if you are open to talking with them as you would talk to a pal or trusted friend.
TO start the process, download the information and activity sheet and start really talking with yourself to learn, grown and heal.